It is he who remembered us in our low estate,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

and rescued us from our foes,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

Psalm 136:23-24

Dear Lord, As I think about Christmastime 2000, I am reminded how I glutted myself, how I sank in the abyss of self, how I used to become extremely angry & yet afraid of other people’s opinions.  God, those were dark days.  Those were depressing days, days that were of my own doing.  You were faithful to show me my hell.  You were faithful at every turn to remind me of my sin.  Yet, Lord, you also gave me lights to see in the dark.  You gave me instruction in the dark places.

Lord, as I would preach about God, “inclining his ear toward me” to those who were cavernous shells of depression, I remember how I would preach to them and also be preaching to myself—hoping to have that “inclined ear” myself, while being filled w/ uncertainty that you ever would.  Dear Lord, those were dark times, in the grips of various vices, shameful ones.  I was in a low, sinister estate, so low, so menacing.

Lord, you have not ceased to work even though my life, my Christian witness & ministry had become so bleak.  How I would pant through my days, how I would cling to idols to satisfy myself all the while digging myself deeper & deeper into sin.  Jesus, that was such a terrible season, wondering all the while, “will God come to my aid in 2 years, in 5 years, in 7 years?”

My pit was my own.  My chains were fastened by my own hands.  Yet, I had no key to unlock them.

Dear Jesus, thank you for your steadfast love which truly endures forever.  You are truly the One who saves us from our sins!  You are the One who can break the bonds of our own making, and you have done that for me!  Your Word has become to me the treasure of my life because now I know by sight what I could once only believe by faith—“there is no pit so deep that Christ is not deeper still.”

Bless You God for Your Steadfast Love this Christmas!!

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